As I said before all you need is flour
But then you go and take a shower
Now, you sit on the Eiffel Tower
Eating all your cauliflower
Power, Power, Superpower
I hope you turn into a crow
And I'll never ever say hello
Cause I'll be at a fashion show
Listening to the stereo
You were always no-no-no
They say blondes have more fun
but I think thats dumb, dumb, dumb
Don't you just love Bubble Gum.
Sticky sweet, sticky sweet...umm
Just bang the drum...
Yeah lets just be done!
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This was bad. haha. It made me laugh how you reapeated stuff like "dumb dumb dumb" and "no-no-no" I liked reading this poem though. It was entertaining.
ReplyDeleteThe forced rhymes and random thought process made this pome as bad as it is. However, you have some really cool ideas. Like the line "They say blondes have more fun but I think thats dumb, dumb, dumb"
ReplyDeleteThis is no bueno. Ha ha! I did like the line, "And I'll never ever say hello." Like said in High School Musical.. It could be the start of something new!
ReplyDeleteDear Miss Austen,
ReplyDeleteOh my, the last line says it all. Yeah, lets just be done!
Though the first draft is supposed to be really really bad, you have potential in the line "As I said before all you need is flour." Perhaps you could change the poem into an exchange between chef and student, or mother and daughter in a cooking environment. Who knows! I'm sure you'll be able to come up with something stunning and creative.
Sincerely,
Genevive
I thought this poem was really funny. I like how the rhyming made it so random. My favorite line would have to be, "Now, you sit on the Eiffel Tower." Maybe it's because I have always wanted to go to Paris and I think the Eiffel Tower is so cool. If I were you, I would write a poem about sitting on the Eiffel Tower. How cool would that be? What if you got to sit up there and look over the city? Would would you see, hear, feel? Good luck! :)
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